like a pair of bottle rockets

My name is Sophie. I'm a writer.

sophcw at gmail dot com


eytancragg asked: How can I shed the bitterness and cruelty that my life has beaten into me before now?


I don’t know your situation and I’m not you and I kinda don’t do advice, because advice is presumptuous! Like there’s general living-life stuff, a lot of which turns out to be really profound but which when I was younger seemed like “shit people tell you just because it’s what they say.” For example: it’s in my nature to get up and start working on stuff. On whatever. Songs, books. Playing video games back when I played video games (I haven’t renounced them but I have lost interest so all I play now is those annoying Facebook games that when you see people’s status saying I JUST ACHIEVED LEVEL ELM IN FOREST SAGA! you judge them. I am he. I am the judged). But then I became a dad, and if me and my little dude are both awake and it’s seven and I see the daylight outside, rain or shine, I think…you need to not be conscripting little dude into your I-tend-to-stay-inside lifestyle, which is a learned behavior anyway. So we get outside. I haven’t run a spreadsheet on this but it feels like to me if I get a walk in with my little dude in the morning, the very worst the day has to offer thereafter pales in comparison to how I started the day, and on lousy days that can be really meaningful to me. Again, I’m not saying “whoever you are, whatever your situation, just take a walk!” That would make me an asshole, saying that. I’m saying “you asked for advice, but I don’t do advice, but I can tell you things I do and if they sound useful to you, they’re things you might try.” 

Mornings when I put off opening the laptop for several hours almost invariably result in better days for me than the ones (usually on the road) when I wake up and PLUG INTO THE FUCKIN MATRIX HERE WE GO and then irritate myself with news of all the terrible people doing and saying terrible things that I can’t do a damn thing about anyway. Do I stay engaged enough with the news cycle to know about what’s going on? Of course; I care. Do I have to know every last hateful thing about all the hateful people? No, of course not - I don’t need all that stuff inside me. I only need to know enough to figure out what positive change I might be able to help effect. 

Again, this isn’t advice. I’m not qualified to give advice. (If I write good songs that help people, that’s rad, but it no more qualifies me to give advice than a good carpenter’s table qualifies him to tell me how to deal with anger.) I’m just reporting what works for me: keep an umbilical connection to the outside world - trees, light, solid ground; avoid obsessive behavior; seek the delightful, shun the hateful. My son taught me this last one. He is a philosopher. 


When the last days come
We shall see visions
More vivid than sunsets
Brighter than stars

We will recognize each other
And see ourselves for the first time
The way we really are

Doll Hospital »


while i’m talking about things i’ve contributed drawings to, i have two comics in this really great journal that’s being printed soon. it also features writing by awesome people like tavi gevinson and latoya peterson.



Conspiracies are definitely a white boy culture thing because women and poc don’t have to imagine an elaborate scenario in which the government fucks us over.

god this is so true

“I’ve always liked games, but I’ve always had a very contentious relationship with them. I played a lot of games as a kid, and as I got older I sorrt of was in and out of liking gaming because I felt it’s a really hostile terrain for women. When I got to grad school I was still playing games, but I wouldn’t call myself a gamer because I bought into that myth about gaming being Grand Theft Auto, God of War, or Call of Duty. You had to play these macho posturing games and that’s what it means to be a gamer. So even though I was playing Plants vs. Zombies, Spore, Donkey Kong Country, de Blob, and Katamari, I didn’t really think of myself as a gamer, which is kind of ridiculous. It was really the Wii that brought me back into it, like, “Wait a second, I am playing games. These are legit. I can call myself a gamer because I am playing games.” I think the Wii did a lot for making gaming more accessible to a wider audience.”

– Anita Sarkeesian, as interviewed by Matt Helgeson, Game Informer, 2014. (via aintgotnoladytronblues)

In the modern era — in which every civilian carries a video camera in his pocket and has instant access to a 24/7 global publishing platform — the idea of cover-ups no longer makes any sense. There are secrets, sure — witness the NSA — but, if anything, we’re awash in way too much evidence. If the Kennedy assassination happened today, we wouldn’t be rewatching every frame of the Zapruder film; we’d be sifting through 10,000 camera-phone videos taken from every angle and algorithmically sorting through tweets, sent live, in real time, from the scene. Think of the days following the Boston Marathon: The problem wasn’t too little proof, but too much, and a million nameless Redditors (and the New York Post) cluelessly Wiki-sorting through the endless amounts of evidentiary data. 9/11 was likely the most documented mass-tragedy in history. Thus we have the post-9/11 version of the conspiracy nut: the so-called “truther,” to whom every bit of the copious evidence must be questioned, repudiated, and disproved. As time marches on and new technology allows us to, say, see the American flags left by astronauts on the moon, the moon-landing hoax morphs from a cover-up (they’re hiding the evidence!) to a truther-style conspiracy (they’re faking the evidence!). For a truther, the goal is no longer to find the smoking gun, but to figure out which of a dozen readily available smoking guns is the one that fired the killing shot.

This is why Wolf’s rantings felt so alarming, yet so familiar: It’s a conspiracy theory precisely tailored to the modern surveillance age. Sure, there’s actual video footage of the atrocity being committed, but guess what? The footage is fake. And the news reports detailing the crimes? Bogus — the reporters are in on it, too. And all those real people, filmed from a dozen angles, who were clearly left emotionally ravaged? Actors, every single one of them. (Drawn, apparently, from some inexhaustible pool of expert and unrecognizable thespians who can convincingly play grieving relatives and be trusted somehow not to post about it minutes later on Facebook.) The essential job of the modern conspiracy nut — the truther — is not to uncover evidence, but to explain exactly why the overabundance of evidence is untrustworthy and wrong.

Which makes Gone Girl the ultimate truther fable. […] Nick is not the victim of a cover-up, but by the end, he’s definitely an Amy truther. As are we, the audience. Nick’s tale confirms what Wolf and her truther ilk suspect. All the proof is untrustworthy. All the footage is faked. All the victims are actors. And the defining, vaguely nihilistic belief of the modern conspiracy theorist is no longer that the truth is out there. It’s that nothing out there is the truth.

– “Gone Girl is The Ultimate Truther Movie”, Adam Sternbergh, Vulture, 2014. (via aintgotnoladytronblues)

The Man Who Sparked GamerGate Regrets The Harassment, But Says He'd Do It Again »


“If I could go back in time and tell myself not to do this. I wouldn’t. That is, I wouldn’t tell myself not to. Because it’s for the best. Regardless of how the outcome is actually getting painted. As this giant harassment campaign against women filled with all sorts of death threats. On the ground the movement isn’t barely like that.”

oh. where is this “ground” he’s speaking of?