Man, I never go on Tumblr anymore. But I’ve posted my favorite albums of the year on here for at least the last six years. Why stop now?
My relationship with music is changing. Some of it is just growing up. Music doesn’t make me feel as strongly as it used to. It’s simple biology. Many days this year sitting at my computer at work trying to choose something to listen to, nothing would come to mind.
My dissociation from music freaks me out. I wonder if it’s just over for me, whether I’ll ever feel a near-religious devotion to an album again. My older boyfriend assures me that’s not the case, that it’s just a phase. My life certainly hasn’t been devoid of art–I’ve been more excited than ever about books, film, TV and journalism over the past few years.
And there have been musical moments over the last year I found thrilling and life-affirming: watching Haribo at Trans-Pecos, HEALTH at Basilica Soundscape, and dancing to techno in warehouses and clubs around New York, for example. A few weeks ago, I got to see Okkervil River play Black Sheep Boy, one of my favorite albums ever, by one of my favorite bands. And I still write about music sometimes.
One of the reasons I think music has affected me less this year is that I’m just happier. Music has never been more meaningful to me than when I was trapped in the sludge of depression. I may not have had any spiritual experiences with a song this year, but I felt a whole lot better a whole lot of the time. It’s not the worst trade, I guess.
But there were some albums that spoke to me, that I felt a connection to and that brought me joy. Here are a few of them (I liked the bolded ones more).
Kendrick Lamar - To Pimp A Butterfly
Sufjan Stevens - Carrie & Lowell
Holly Herndon - Platform
Sleater-Kinney - No Cities To Love
Carly Rae Jepsen - Emotion
Bjork - Vulnicura
Courtney Barnett - Sometimes I Sit and Think, and Sometimes I Just Sit
Father - Who’s Gonna Get Fucked First?
FKA Twigs - M3LL155X
Jenny Hval - Apocalypse, Girl
PC Music - PC Music Volume 1
Drake - If You’re Reading This It’s Too Late
Joanna Newsom - Divers
Grimes - Art Angels
U.S. Girls - Half Free