novice Buddhist, expert neurotic. writer. aspiring adult.
sophcw at gmail dot com
Say I go off and do this thing and no one really cares. If you are doing something and working your ass off and no one is paying attention, but you’re happy with it, can that be enough? It turned out the answer is “yes.” This is something I will continue to do for the rest of my life. It was cool to be a performer, but I realized I am a songwriter and there is something about performing that is different when you are sharing a song you have written. My vision of success involves the artistic aspect; the feeling of playing a festival is not the same as the feeling of writing a song.
Cool kids. @amytiger (at Public Assembly)
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I think a lot of times what makes a performer really fascinating and what makes a performer seem powerful is if you see someone overcoming fear or overcoming weakness. That’s a lot more interesting, to see vulnerability mixed with great fervor and passion, which I think is what a lot of people love about Patrick [Stickles, Titus Andronicus member], how vulnerable his songs make him appear. He’s totally baring his insecurities, and yet in doing so he’s a very compelling and powerful figure.
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Maybe that is why we are drawn to the city, to its overcrowded subway cars and jam-packed streets, and to music festivals like this one. The sense of anomie we experience in this terribly unreal age of internet-dominated consciousness can be eternalized only in the form of the crowd. Since we live in an age that is apolitical, the ’60s youth movement and the ’70s punk movement and even the ’90s riot grrrl movement fading farther and farther into the past with each day, we find we can commune with our own alienation in the form of immense, ephemeral, and vaguely socially conscious music festivals filled with people just as confused as we are.
I, however, have the sneaking suspicion that what we call crazy in a woman is usually what we’d call genius in a man. When men rampage wildly against the conventions of our society, or rant at length about the errors of our culture, industry, and religion, we call them interesting or arresting cultural characters, or in, Charlie Sheen’s case, we give them a national comedy tour. When a woman does the same thing, we call her a diva, or sometimes just weird and annoying. See: the backlash against M.I.A.
Actually, the line between crazy and genius for women has always been quite fine, as Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar has taught us so well. Lauryn Hill seems to prove my suspicions about crazy ladies, because the second she takes the stage, you feel you are in the presence of an absolute genius. Her stage presence simply overwhelms the audience of assembled thousands to the point of shock, so that the crowd is suddenly quiet, and staring at her with the curiosity babies get when they see something new.
Excited to have time to actually read this.