like a pair of bottle rockets

My name is Sophie. I'm a writer.

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#why?

Why? - Simeon’s Dilemma
I’ve been awake since 6:30 am for no reason, because my brain doesn’t permit me to sleep like a normal person. I brought pizza to work precariously wrapped in plastic only to find that there are like three boxes of left over pizza in the fridge here, along with my coworker’s wedding cake, which I am now eating for breakfast. I’m tired. 
I am calling this look Female Young Messiah.
I’m wearing: 
Japandroids shirt
Floral pants on black from Rainbow
shitty fake suede shoes from Rainbow
dollar store goth ring
$5 fake ray bans I got on the corner of Myrtle and Broadway (which I wear outside basically every day
no makeup (besides concealer)

Why? - Simeon’s Dilemma

I’ve been awake since 6:30 am for no reason, because my brain doesn’t permit me to sleep like a normal person. I brought pizza to work precariously wrapped in plastic only to find that there are like three boxes of left over pizza in the fridge here, along with my coworker’s wedding cake, which I am now eating for breakfast. I’m tired. 

I am calling this look Female Young Messiah.

I’m wearing: 

  • Japandroids shirt
  • Floral pants on black from Rainbow
  • shitty fake suede shoes from Rainbow
  • dollar store goth ring
  • $5 fake ray bans I got on the corner of Myrtle and Broadway (which I wear outside basically every day
  • no makeup (besides concealer)

hex-girlfriend:

why? these few presidents cover (because i don’t want to take a vid of me covering it cause i have a big pimple rn and no one wants to see that YUCK!~)

This is so awesome!!

Los Campesinos! are one of my favorite bands. I saw them for what was probably the 7th time on Saturday, in Brooklyn, with a friend who was visiting me from California. I originally met that friend at a Los Campesinos! show five years earlier. Obviously, the band has had an effect on my life. 
Gareth, who is the lead singer and songwriter of the band, is pretty great at writing emotionally gripping confessional lyrics with one-liners that you can’t help but scream at their shows (thus why my voice is still currently destroyed, precariously, the day before I have to sing). His lyrics have always toed the line between self-indulgent and cathartic. A lot of their music expresses something I can easily relate to - feeling sorry for yourself about dumb things, and then hating yourself for doing it. And then wondering if anything is important enough to feel sorry about at all. 
But something about seeing them this Saturday though felt off. It wasn’t my mild disappointment in their newest album - I recently saw of Montreal for the first time in a few years, and despite their last few mediocre albums it was an incredible experience. No, it was, I realized, that I no longer related to their music. At least not the way I once did. 
Understanding feminism has changed the way I relate to everything. I would have thought it was dumb to care about the gender of artists I liked a few years ago, but now I find myself listening to female artists maybe 60% of the time. And it makes sense. Of course I want to consume culture that relates more closely to my own experience, if it’s available (it is).  For all of my warm nostalgic feelings towards them, and the joy that still fills me when along to a line like “we kid ourselves there’s future in this fucking/but there is no fucking future,” Los Campesinos! aren’t a band I feel like are my own. Gareth’s songs are very personally tilted towards his male heterosexual-ness, to the point of referencing his own anatomy. Though I empathize with his sentiments of self-hatred and rejection, there’s a point where he almost crosses over into bitterness towards not just one girl who rejected him, but towards women as a whole. I’ve met Gareth a few times and I can tell he’s a totally decent guy. But I don’t feel the magical connection to their music that I used to. When I hear a line like “the build up takes forever/but you never get me off,” from a male singer, I have a hard time believing it, and I definitely can’t relate to it. 
And that’s the other thing. I started my infatuation with this band when I was 17, and Gareth & co. were about 20. Now they’re about 26. With every album they seem to have gotten farther away from the twee pop of their origins and farther towards self-pitying emo rock with some glockenspiel thrown in. Which sometimes is totally great! But, at this point, I want to see some character growth. After five years of being in an increasingly successful band, wouldn’t you think a lead singer could get a girlfriend? Or at the very least explore these subjects with a little more nuance and less self-pity?
As I was taking to my friend about this the other night I started comparing the confessionalism of Gareth Campesinos! to that of Yoni Wolf from Why?, another favorite band. Though Yoni’s lyrics can be openly misogyinist and are similarly bathed in self-hatred, I much prefer his detached, ambiguously moral “judge me if you want” attitude to Gareth’s, who always seems to feel like he should be ashamed of his emotions and desires. Yoni not only puts his weird, dark thoughts out there, he exaggerates them until they’re impossible to ignore. I’m all for exposing the strange and difficult parts of being human through art. I’d just rather seen it done with fewer assumptions towards what’s right, and who’s singing along. 

Los Campesinos! are one of my favorite bands. I saw them for what was probably the 7th time on Saturday, in Brooklyn, with a friend who was visiting me from California. I originally met that friend at a Los Campesinos! show five years earlier. Obviously, the band has had an effect on my life. 

Gareth, who is the lead singer and songwriter of the band, is pretty great at writing emotionally gripping confessional lyrics with one-liners that you can’t help but scream at their shows (thus why my voice is still currently destroyed, precariously, the day before I have to sing). His lyrics have always toed the line between self-indulgent and cathartic. A lot of their music expresses something I can easily relate to - feeling sorry for yourself about dumb things, and then hating yourself for doing it. And then wondering if anything is important enough to feel sorry about at all. 

But something about seeing them this Saturday though felt off. It wasn’t my mild disappointment in their newest album - I recently saw of Montreal for the first time in a few years, and despite their last few mediocre albums it was an incredible experience. No, it was, I realized, that I no longer related to their music. At least not the way I once did. 

Understanding feminism has changed the way I relate to everything. I would have thought it was dumb to care about the gender of artists I liked a few years ago, but now I find myself listening to female artists maybe 60% of the time. And it makes sense. Of course I want to consume culture that relates more closely to my own experience, if it’s available (it is).  For all of my warm nostalgic feelings towards them, and the joy that still fills me when along to a line like “we kid ourselves there’s future in this fucking/but there is no fucking future,” Los Campesinos! aren’t a band I feel like are my own. Gareth’s songs are very personally tilted towards his male heterosexual-ness, to the point of referencing his own anatomy. Though I empathize with his sentiments of self-hatred and rejection, there’s a point where he almost crosses over into bitterness towards not just one girl who rejected him, but towards women as a whole. I’ve met Gareth a few times and I can tell he’s a totally decent guy. But I don’t feel the magical connection to their music that I used to. When I hear a line like “the build up takes forever/but you never get me off,” from a male singer, I have a hard time believing it, and I definitely can’t relate to it. 

And that’s the other thing. I started my infatuation with this band when I was 17, and Gareth & co. were about 20. Now they’re about 26. With every album they seem to have gotten farther away from the twee pop of their origins and farther towards self-pitying emo rock with some glockenspiel thrown in. Which sometimes is totally great! But, at this point, I want to see some character growth. After five years of being in an increasingly successful band, wouldn’t you think a lead singer could get a girlfriend? Or at the very least explore these subjects with a little more nuance and less self-pity?

As I was taking to my friend about this the other night I started comparing the confessionalism of Gareth Campesinos! to that of Yoni Wolf from Why?, another favorite band. Though Yoni’s lyrics can be openly misogyinist and are similarly bathed in self-hatred, I much prefer his detached, ambiguously moral “judge me if you want” attitude to Gareth’s, who always seems to feel like he should be ashamed of his emotions and desires. Yoni not only puts his weird, dark thoughts out there, he exaggerates them until they’re impossible to ignore. I’m all for exposing the strange and difficult parts of being human through art. I’d just rather seen it done with fewer assumptions towards what’s right, and who’s singing along. 

chrismello:

speedyn10:

WHY? — Gemini (Birthday Song)

When we’re on different sides of the globe
I thought we’d keep our veins tangled
like a pair of mic cables,
And if there ain’t enough slack to reach
that we’d solder them together
and across oceans they’d stretch.

Why? - Simeon’s Dilemma

you’re the only proper noun I need